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The Story Behind Fearless Birthing

In 2009, Alexia was fortunate to find herself on the first-ever training course for a new technique from the field of Energy Psychology; Reflective Repatterning (RR). As a business coach, she was already trained in Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) and Thought Field Therapy (TFT).

Amazed by the results that she was getting with herself and with her coaching clients, she became an advanced practitioner. Soon after, the founder of Reflective Repatterning, Chris Milbank, invited her to join forces with him in training other people in RR and they trained therapists, coaches and counsellors for a number of years together. As such, after its founder, Alexia is currently the most advanced and experienced practitioner and trainer of Reflective Repatterning worldwide.

All this coincided with Alexia’s own journey as a mother. In 2009 Alexia fell pregnant, and it was at the moment that she realised she had an extreme fear of birth. Sadly, her pregnancy ended in a miscarriage but she realised that what she felt didn’t feel right. She spent the next year addressing her high levels of anxiety and stress and fell pregnant again a year later. Still overcome by extreme fears of birth – which she later learned was called tokophobia – she decided that the only way she would be able to face birth was to have a c-section.

When Alexia discovered hypnobirthing, she jumped in feet first. While she learned a lot about birth, it failed to have any effect on her fears. So decided to turn to RR. Alexia needed to make some changes to RR because it was not created as a DIY technique but she did and went on to clear her deep fears and traumas during her second trimester. By month 7 she ditched her c-section plan and decided to have a home birth.

Alexia used her first pregnancy to understand how best to apply RR to pregnancy and birth and to see what worked. At the beginning of her pregnancy journey, Alexia was deeply terrified of birth and was happy to consider all forms of pain relief. Thankfully, it didn’t come to that; her daughter was born naturally at home and one of the midwives present later told her “…you were like an Amazonian woman giving birth…” It was a compliment apparently!

Since her first birth, Alexia further developed her work around birth preparation and shared it with pregnant friends and family to great results. With a background in marketing and branding, she also found ways of simplifying Reflective Repatterning, so that more people could use it and benefit from it, especially those who never considered that they could benefit from therapy.

Having observed her trainee delegates learn and use RR, as well as her clients, Alexia noticed which elements of RR that were having a huge impact, as well as the elements that trainees and clients were finding easy to understand. This work culminated in her creating the Head Trash Clearance Method; an easy-to-understand, simple-to-use version of RR for anyone to use. She went on to launch the Head Trash Show Podcast to help people to clear their head trash using the method.

The real test came with her second pregnancy and birth. Her second pregnancy was very different and being an older, high-risk mother, Alexia was subjected to many fear-based messages during her pregnancy. Questions about her due date also meant a lot of pressure for being induced. Alexia was able to calmly stand her ground and birthed her second daughter naturally at home in late 2014 at 40+15.

Her second pregnancy journey forced her to educate herself a lot around birth and this enabled her to refine her birth preparation approach. She has also integrated elements of other techniques that she had been using with her coaching clients over the years and that she found helpful in preparing for her birth the second time around.

The culmination of all this work is Fearless Birthing. When the word got out about her second birth, Alexia was soon inundated with requests for help by mums wanting help to clear their birth fears. What started as free email series, became a book and then the podcast, Fear Free Childbirth Podcast, which has now been downloaded over 400,000 times worldwide. Alexia has since created digital products and online programs to help women to clear their fears and have positive births, so that fear clearance is accessible to all.

The book, Fearless Birthing was published in 2018. She is now also offering training to birthing professionals who wish to use the fear-clearance technique and Fearless Birthing approach with their clients.