When I first realised I had tokophobia — the pathological fear of pregnancy and childbirth — it wasn’t because a “professional” named it. It wasn’t something my doctor or therapist picked up on. No, I spent years living with anxiety, self-doubt, and confusion, thinking I was simply broken or “not maternal.”
I only stumbled across the real name for what I’d been struggling with after I’d given birth, after I’d healed, and after I’d made it my mission to help other women do the same.
That’s what prompted me to launch Tik-Tokophobia, a new podcast that goes right into the heart of this overlooked epidemic.
In our very first episode, I sit down with my co-host JJ Stenhouse to talk — honestly, if a little fiercely — about why we’re doing this and what every woman and birth professional needs to know.
Here’s what I wish every woman (and every professional supporting women) understood, right from the start.
Tokophobia Is Everywhere (But Most Women Have No Idea)
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re no stranger to birth fear. But what so many don’t realise is just how far-reaching and hidden reproductive anxiety can be.
Tokophobia doesn’t always shout — sometimes it whispers in self-doubt, avoidance, and ironclad beliefs like “I’m just not a baby person,” or “Motherhood isn’t for me.”
In this first episode, we shine a light on how tokophobia:
Remains undiagnosed for decades — even amongst those working in trauma healing (JJ only learned the name at nearly 70!)
Shapes relationships, career choices, even whether you dare to start creative projects or finish what you’ve begun
Can affect up to half of all women, yet so few have ever heard the word
Key Insight: When tokophobia isn’t recognised, it quietly limits life in ways most women cannot see. Raising awareness is step one — for women, for partners, and for professionals.
The Root Isn’t “Just Anxiety” — It’s Often Trauma
So many people (including far too many therapists) still assume reproductive fear is just anxiety or “not being ready.” But the truth is much deeper — and, for many, more physical. Our conversation zeroes in on one essential truth:
Tokophobia is usually rooted in trauma — and not always the obvious kind.
For countless women, it can be traced all the way back to their own birth: the in utero and birth experience imprints that shape our earliest understanding of safety, survival, and identity.
JJ’s story hit me right in the gut. She describes a traumatic birth with the cord around her neck, separation from her mother, and decades of feeling unable to “birth” anything — not just babies, but books, projects, even relationships. Until she realised what had happened, she thought she was “just not creative.” Sound familiar?
Key Insight: So often, the fear a woman carries around pregnancy and birth makes no logical sense — even to herself. That doesn’t make it “irrational.” Traumas held in the body create patterns of avoidance and terror until the root is truly cleared.
Diagnosis Is Life-Changing — But You Can’t Heal What You Can’t Name
I’ve lost count of the women who come to me saying “I never wanted children… I thought I was just cold.” Or the professionals who have never even heard the word tokophobia, let alone been trained to spot it in their clients.
Here’s why this matters:
Name it, and everything changes. JJ describes how, after nearly seventy years, finally naming her tokophobia was life-altering — bringing clarity to decades of relationships, stalled creativity, and grief.
Without awareness, women live in quiet shame and isolation, assuming they’re uniquely “broken”.
Professionals miss the opportunity to reach those most in need — and may inadvertently reinforce their shame or trauma.
That’s why we need not just more conversation, but a total shift in how we talk about fear, anxiety, and trauma in the birth space.
Key Insight: This isn’t just about preparing for birth — it’s about transforming lives by bringing the unseen into the light. Naming tokophobia is an act of liberation.
Reproductive Anxiety Disorder (RAD): Why We Need Language That Fits
If you’re a birth professional, you might already sense that your clients are grappling with something deeper than fleeting nerves.
I call this Reproductive Anxiety Disorder (RAD): a spectrum of trauma, anxiety, and fear that warps everything from fertility choices to maternal identity and creative potential.
In this episode, we explore:
Why the “irrational” label misses the mark — the fear always makes sense once we understand the root
How tokophobia and RAD manifest not just as “fear of birth,” but as avoidance, ambivalence, perfectionism, “career focus,” or emotional shutdown
Why every professional needs trauma-informed tools, language, and an understanding of the nervous system, not just birth advice or “positivity”
Key Insight: If we keep pathologising women’s fear, or writing it off as silly or irrational, we’re failing them on every level. RAD sets a new foundation for care, support, and true healing.
Head Trash Clearance: Healing at the Root
This is exactly why I created the Head Trash Clearance method. After decades of living with tokophobia — and trying every personal development trick out there — I discovered that deep, embodied healing is possible.
It’s not about affirmation or exposure therapy, but about going straight to the root: the physical and emotional imprints shaping your entire relationship with pregnancy, birth, and creativity.
You don’t have to live your life dictated by fear, avoidance, or a sense that “something’s wrong with me.” You can clear the root — gently, safely, and for good.
Gentle Invitation: Listen In & Know You’re Not Alone
If any of this strikes a chord — whether you’re a woman feeling “other,” or a professional quietly suspecting your clients are hiding deeper fear — I warmly invite you to listen to this first episode of Tik-Tokophobia.
You’ll hear stories that might sound achingly familiar. You’ll see that you’re not broken, not weak — just unrecognised. And you’ll find a way forward that’s both compassionate and real.
Support, tools, and further training in clearing tokophobia and Reproductive Anxiety Disorder are always available through Fearless Birthing and the Head Trash Clearance approach. Together, we can change the story for women everywhere.
👉 Listen to Episode 1 here:
With warmth and courage,
Alexia Leachman
Creator of Head Trash Clearance and Fearless Birthing
P.S. If you’re a doula, midwife, therapist, or birthworker and want more on how tokophobia and RAD might be showing up in your clients — download the white paper The Case for Reproductive Anxiety Disorder or check out the RAD Responsible™ guidelines for content creators and practitioners.
Let’s lead the change our community desperately needs.